as of late

I force myself out of bed
There will be no hiding from these thoughts
somewhere deep within sleep

fresh from my tent
the dew from the meadow is cold on my legs
a sharp contrast from the warmth
I am suddenly aware of the safety
I've left in my sleeping bag

at first my eyes are too swollen
to tired from tears
the eyes of a scientist with a tired heart
I can't decipher the bird on the telephone line
the feet of a solitary wanderer
A sad wandering lifestyle that forces me to leave
before anything can begin
my long pacing always slightly out of sync
with whomever is walking with me

I step over the shadows of fence posts as they
creep across the rad with the rising sun
I see the shadow of my tall frame
glancing down at my small breasts that
don't show up on a shadow
and realize how heavy and awkward my
frame would be if they were larger
heavy and awkward as my heart attempting
to fill the ache in my chest

i know I should savor the cool morning air
lowing across my shoulders
the sun will drive me to the shadows
in only hours.